197 lbs...

197 lbs. That is something no one wants to see on the scale. Especially at the gym in front of all these skinny people and my trainer. I about cried. In fact, I did cry, but I waited 'til I got in the car after my workout. Go me for the self control to manage that one...


A bit of back story here, I have always been "thick." 120lbs is about the lowest weight I've had in my post-adolescent / adult phase of life. Since High School, I've fluctuated between 135 & (apparently) 197lbs. I've tried diet pills. Yes, they work, while they are taking them. When you quit, they quit. Well I'm done fluctuating. I want to be in shape, and yes, I know round is a shape, but not the particular one I'm going for here. I am going to lose about 70lbs and stay there. Forever.


"Good nutrition is the biggest part of losing weight," says my trainer. "Crap," I think. Here's my problem, I eat. A lot. And I love bad food....Pasta loaded with creamy alfredo sauce...Taco bell...Ice cream...anything loaded with cheese...You get the picture. After my fiasco with the scale at the gym last night, I went home, crying as previously stated, and made dinner. I made *NASTY* brown rice, dry fish and brussel sprouts. While I was waiting the hour for the rice to cook, I ate some fat free pretzels. I was so determined to be "good" that I read the serving size and counted out exactly 39 pretzel sticks. Lets hope I can stay this determined through this whole process.

Here is a picture of me now:

Here is what I want to look like: